First Thing's First

So this is my very first post for my very first blog.  How exciting!  I've been talking about doing this for a ridiculously long time and I must say, I feel pretty damn proud of myself.  Perhaps I should withhold congratulations until I see whether or not I actually make regular posts but there is more to this story.

If you don't already know me (which is unlikely because I don’t know how you would’ve found this blog otherwise) I am incredibly shy particularly when it has anything to do with being creative or any kind of self-expression.  I’m also a hoopdancer (mostly when no one’s looking) and I do a lot of artsy/crafty type stuff for fun which mistakenly leads people to believe that I’m some sort of performer, which I am most definitely not.  Again, I am almost painfully shy.  The point is that starting this blog is my metaphorical jumping-off-a-cliff (I am also afraid of heights); suffice it to say, this is very scary for me and I appreciate your patience.

Anywho, the purpose of this blog for me is mainly to do some writing, specifically poetry.  I’ve always loved poetry from a very young age and I’ve recently started writing some again.  It’s something that has always happened in waves for me and I’d like it to become a more regular thing.  I really look forward to some feedback and constructive criticism so if you’re willing, I would greatly appreciate it.

So without further ado, this is a poem that I wrote for my lady, tell me what you think.  It may be a little cheesy, but that’s just how love poems go :)

Sometimes

I love you

and sometimes

(but only sometimes mind)

I feel

crushed by it.

It wouldn’t feel so overwhelming

If I could say it aloud some time.

Maybe even just to myself,

in an empty room

with a window,

full of sunspots and warmth

where I feel safe

And unafraid.

I know that it is true

because it seems like sometimes

(perhaps more times than not)

a thousand tiny daggers

prick my skin

when I think of you.

Small pleasant sensations,

no pain, only electricity,

like static,

like fire.

It reminds me that I’m alive.

Wondrous sensation:

Sometimes

(deliciously sometimes)

sweet and melting

Like the lemon filling in a pie,

Sometimes rigid,

Inflexible,

Sharp;

if feels like raspberries taste.

At other sometimes

this vitality translates into

a kind of heaviness;

slow and inflated

with a myriad,

a confusing eddy of emotion.

These sometimes bring me to

spiral down to my depths

where I discover my own base nature;

like molten metal I am,

hot,

liquid,

still,

pooled on the floor.

But always in that perfect sometime

at the meeting point

of our two selves,

the nearness of your

fundamental nature

feels like a wind to me.

An arresting gale,

exultant,

never distressing,

simply clean

and good

and full of promise;

nourishing, life-giving oxygen,

revitalizing me always.

And just so you know,

sometimes

(and in truth, it may be most times)

I think I could

rip my heart out and give it to you

as a gift.

Not in sacrifice

nor as an offering

but because

you feel enough

for the two of us. 

But then again,

maybe

I offer it

because it’s already yours.